Assurance of Control

I went hiking in Denali National Park with my son, Sam, some years ago… close to 20 now. The week before I left I put everything I was taking in my pack out on the dining room table. It all lay there for a couple of days as I reviewed and reviewed it, sometimes adding or replacing something, and sometimes just taking something away. At one point, our youngest daughter, Carrie, was watching me work through my process. I looked up and asked her why she was watching me so closely. She said, “I’ve never seen you this way before.” I was seeking control. I was about to go off on a hiking trip on which I had to have everything I needed with me, and in a specific place within my pack so I knew where to get it, immediately. A few times on each of the days the materials were out on the table I was going over them. I was seeking control. In any season of life, for any specific purpose, we may seek control. It might be as simple as a small dinner party where we want everything to express a certain emotional engagement. It might be something as large as a military maneuver. We seek control because we have none. Any manifestation of the wildness of life – a guest being late, the weather during an invasion, a mother bear coming onto a trail – can show us the weakness of our control. We sometimes say that God is in control, rather than recognizing that God doesn’t need that kind of domination to see that life will move to his desired end. Jesus tells us that it is the end that is within God’s will, rather than our moments. Aligning ourselves with God’s character, allowing the Holy Spirit to guide us, to speak into our choices, is a relationship rather than control. He calls us into conversation within the wildness of life, so that we know he is with us no matter what happens. That reduces our fear in a way “control” cannot. Blessings, Geoff